There has been some interest in what owning a store is like so I thought typing up some of the things I hear on a daily basis would be a fun way to start. I’ll avoid typing the really ridiculous/offensive stuff, but if you want to hear that too I’ll do another post!
Tell Me What I Read
- “What is a book my son/daughter will like?” I have no idea, because I don’t know them.
- “Is this book funny?” Um…I’ve never read it. “Oh…but do you know if it’s funny?” How would I know that if I’ve never read it?
I’m Looking For Words
- “I’m looking for *insert vague title*” *Stares at them for a second waiting…* Do you know the author? “No.” *internal screaming*
- “I’m looking for a book called *insert vague title*” Okay do you know the author and what type of book it is? “What type of book? It has two covers and some pages.” Ma’am the only one allowed to be sarcastic in this store is me -_-
- “I don’t read.” Then why on earth are you in here?
- “I’m looking for cookbooks!” says a super twitchy woman *points to the three shelves of cookbooks* Woman begins look at shelves I didn’t point to and grabs a book, brings it to the counter. Book says ‘How to Decorate a Man Cave’. “Did you find everything okay?” “Yes! I’m going to read this in the bar.” *rings her up* A WEEK LATER – Woman comes back in. “I bought a Man Cave book and didn’t realize it until a couple of days ago. Where are your cookbooks?”
- “Does my tattoo look like her tattoo?” *holds up her shirt to show me a paw print, and points to book cover* Yes….sort of…now please put your shirt down…
- “What’s behind that door?” *points to closed door at the back of the store* “My extra stock.” “Oh!” *heads towards with purpose* “Can I go back there?” “I’d prefer you didn’t. It’s just extra stock, everything back there is up here.” *stares at me like I’ve killed their puppy*
- “Do you rent these books out?” Nooo….
- “Do you have explicit sex books? Not novels…but explicit sex?” What the hell does that even mean? Are we talking how to manuals or Playboys? Because I don’t have either. *Buys breastfeeding book* Wha…I’m not even going to question this…just ring him up and say goodbye.
- “You smell of money.” What the hell?